Bellow is two emails shared between me and Joe Apice, who will be acting as the voice of my character Ian.
Thanks for sending me the script.
Have a few questions that came up upon my first read through…
I was under the impression when you told me about the story, that the fake “newspaper files” were something of a dramatic secret, kept from the audience til the end, so that they believe in Ian’s fantasy job.
The way it’s laid out in the beginning, even in the title, this information is far from secretive.
Is this a choice? if so, what do you intend the audience’s journey to be throughout the piece?
If not, what can be done to ensure the audience is duped from the very beginning into believing they’re hearing a story about a real P.I.?
Also, who is the woman in the park? What influence does she have on Ian in that scene?
Why doesn’t the newspaper come on day 3? Does he usually have it delivered every day?
What keeps him from reaching for his coffee in the last scene? Is his attitude different here?
Is Ian his own caretaker? On what source of income does he survive?
Good ideas, and I like Ian. Let me know what you make of all this.
As I mentioned last night I am wanting it to be some what of a dramatic revelation that we find out that Ian is only reading a news paper and not secret case files. After thinking over I believe I need to build up Ian’s credibility. To do this I’m going to add a brief line in the beginning ‘narration’ part that explains what the cases have gone through before Ian is haired.
“In order for me to be hired for Cases, I request that the Information has been collected, and that investigators have spent at least a hundred hours piecing the facts together, When they have fallen short thats when I’m hired… It’s delivered each morning at 7’oclock sharp. Folded in half, bounded by a tight rubber band.”
I’m hoping that this would set Ian up to be seen as a true investigator. I am also going to add some shots of Ian writing down notes after he reads the paper/files in order to show that he has worked through some of the facts.
I have also changed the working title to “Cases in Ink” or maybe “Written in Ink” Both of these options add to the possibility of him being an investigator as well as adding to the twist at the end, in that ‘Ink’ refers to being in a news paper.
The significance of the woman in the park is that she’s sitting in Ian’s spot. If my animation was longer I would show Ian’s routine a couple of times before it is disrupted (both by the rubber band breaking and the bench being occupied. However because of my time restraint I’m needing to only show it once. Because his routine is disrupted he is thrown of from being in his world of solving the case. and thus end his though process.
The reason that the news paper doesn’t come on the third day could be endless. It could be that Ian doesn’t hear the knock, or that its a holiday? What is more important is that it shows how much of Ian’s life revolves around the paper being delivered. During that day we see Ian waiting and waiting for the paper. He doesn’t eat anything, nor does he really move from the chair.
I am now thinking of having Ian reach of the coffee at the end and put sugar into it before the pulls the paper in font of him. This is to show what he is back in his routine, and then when we see the paper we see a crossword half filled out on it. Thus hinting that the cases are apart of the crossword that Ian does each day.
My thought is that Ian is his own caretaker, He’s able to do this because he has such a strict routine. However when it is disrupted he is exposed to his inability to fully take care of himself.
I hope this answered some of your questions. If you have any more shoot me an email. I’m more than happy to share and develop more of Ian’s character for you.